On Books and Boys

Dear High School Boys,

In my 15 or so years of college counseling and teaching, I’ve worked with roughly equal numbers of boys and girls, and I’ve never addressed just a single group. I’m now addressing this note to boys, man-to-men, because we live in strange times, and, arguably, dire times.

In her recent piece, “Attention, Men: Books Are Sexy!,” New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd reports a startling statistic: 80% of books purchased are purchased by women. That’s not 80% of romance novels or cookbooks, which traditionally skew towards women readers. It’s not 80% of books by Jane Austen or Roxanne Gay. It’s 80% of all books.

I promote reading exuberantly, maybe fanatically, to all of my students (and to anyone else who will listen). I do it in many different ways: via this memo, via the articles I send out, via reading lists that I have shared with all of you. Some of my reasons should be obvious, such as gaining valuable information that might be useful in school. Others are less obvious — entertainment, common cultural currency, development of language and writing skills, critical thinking, college preparation, and more.

None of these things should be the province of just one gender, but reading trends suggest otherwise. The average woman reads four times as many books as the average man. This is clearly a symptom, and a cause, of the broader “boy crisis,” which is characterized by loneliness, lack of ambition, and low educational attainment.

(Broader data on reading trends is equally discouraging. A recent study finds that recreational reading, regardless of gender, has declined 40% since 2003.)

By extension, women now hold a significant advantage over men in all the things that books can do for them. That’s awesome for women, not great for men, and not great for our culture, society, and economy.

If you’ll disregard its cringeworthy headline, Dowd’s column highlights some of these benefits: quoting novelist Richard Babcock, fiction “can open perspectives and discipline the mind;” quoting critic Susan Sontag, literature “enlarge(s) your sympathies.” Not insignificantly, she also frames her column around the point that reading is romantically attractive. That may or may not be your concern — it’s certainly none of my business — but it’s worth noting.

I suspect that the women and girls in your lives will corroborate Dowd’s observations. Even if they don’t, you could do a lot worse than emulate Ralph Fiennes and James Dean.

One great thing about reading, as I have written before, is that it is universally accessible. You do not need special skills. You do not need to go anywhere. You do not need much money — or any money at all. All you need is a little time and the recognition that reading is a good thing to do. Reading is good for your mental health and your intellect, just as working out is good for your physical health, and just as showing up to the office is good for your financial health. (I recommend reading real, hard-copy books, not e-books or audio books.)

Gender plays an important role in our society and in all societies — but it is not everything. Plenty of things in this world should be genderless or gender-neutral. Reading is one of them. Education is one of them. Ideally, all students should, on average, perform equally well and face equal opportunities regardless of their gender identities.

In college admissions, female applicants often have more impressive applications, partly because they read. A boy who does read will have an advantage over his counterparts. That’s partly what I’ve been trying to impress upon you all along, and now I’m trying to drive that point home even more emphatically.

You all have the chance — maybe not to influence your entire gender (although I encourage you to try), but certainly to change yourselves.

What if you don’t enjoy reading?

My first response is: deal with it. A great many things in this world are not enjoyable but are still necessary. Life is not about constant pleasure. Most of us don’t enjoy doing cardio or lifting weights; we do them because they make us better at the sports we enjoy.

Even so, if you don’t enjoy reading, you probably haven’t chosen the right books.

I’ve noticed a pattern in the few books boys report reading. Many read personal finance or self-help — Think and Grow Rich (my nominee for worst book title of all time); Rich Dad, Poor Dad (second worst), or How to Win Friends and Influence People. Occasionally, the Art of War. When boys read non-self-help books, the list is similarly narrow: Shoe Dog, about Nike’s Phil Knight, or biographies of Steve Jobs or other tech titans. These books are uncannily popular, and the reasons are obvious: boys like shoes, and most people like money. (Similarly popular: Harry Potter, Divergent, and Percy Jackson.)

Those books, while possibly of practical value, are not intellectually enriching. You can’t have a great conversation about them. Other people don’t care if you want to get rich. And other people don’t care if you are “improving” yourself. Read them if you want to, but read them as a small subset of your overall reading practice.

Try, instead, for books related to your academic interests. If you like a certain subject, there are surely books you’re going to love. High school does a lousy job promoting nonfiction reading. But, there are great books — written by scholars, journalists, and practitioners — for every imaginable topic. Good choices are as close as the nearest Amazon ranking, Goodreads list, or friendly librarian or bookstore clerk.

I rarely make fiction recommendations because fiction is a matter of taste, whereas nonfiction is more pragmatic. But, still, let’s talk about fiction.

There’s no doubt that some of the greatest literature is also the most challenging literature. But not all literature has to be challenging. If you’re not used to reading, I don’t recommend starting with difficult books, no matter how renowned they might be. Start with easier books that will engage you, help you develop a habit of reading. But, make them adult books — not “YA” or fantasy series. Those books are fun, but, if you’re in high school, it’s time to up your game.

If you give them a chance, good books will be just as addictive as a video game or TikTok, with the bonus that you are nurturing your intellect and learning, rather than simply giving your time and brain cells to a platform that gives you little in return.

For high school seniors: I get it. You’re busy. You probably don’t have time to get through Catcher in the Rye much less Middlemarch.

But, you can still set intentions. You can still make lists of books you want to read — books you know will be worthwhile — and plan for them. One of the great things about reading is that the job is never finished. Building a reading list is enriching and worthwhile in itself even if you don’t actually read all the books on it. (My Amazon wish list has hundreds of items, about 90% of which are books. My bookshelves overflow with titles I haven’t yet opened.)

Attitude counts for a lot, and so does self-image. Imagine wanting to read as much as you want to get fit. Imagine wanting to develop critical thinking skills as much as you want to get rich. Imagine being appealing — to girls and colleges alike — because you are thoughtful, articulate, and worldly rather than because you have straight A’s and a 1500. You can’t accomplish all of this at once, but you can develop the desire if you so choose.

If you are ahead of this trend, I applaud you, and I know your college applications will benefit. Even so, you have more work to do. Be a good influence on your friends and classmates. Get them as excited about reading as you are. Give out copies of your favorite books. Start conversations at the lunch table. Organize a book club. Tell your friends you’re going to read a chapter or two before you meet up with them on Discord.

(Likewise, enlist girls’ help. If you ask a girl for book recommendations — earnestly, not as some weird pickup line — she will likely be gobsmacked.)

To reiterate, we are in a crisis. You are in a crisis. Some of you might be the crisis. This trend has deep ramifications for personal relationships, academic success, professional success, and the health of American culture and politics. The diminishment of empathy, the diminishment of critical thinking, the lessening of awareness, the devaluation of language — these are not trivial. These issues are closely related to what George Orwell raises in “Politics and the English Language,” which I hope you all have read. When we abandon critical thinking, we abandon everything.

If saving the world isn’t enough, you can at least be self-interested. You will be more successful, happier, more academically prepared, possibly more attractive — to girls and colleges alike— if you follow this advice.